Cat vs. Dog … again

I saw these two posts again on Facebook and thought I’d share them here. The imagined and real battle for supremacy between the cat and the dog is fodder for many humorous and/or horrific stories.

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Excerpts from a Dawg’s Daily Diary:

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – Boy oh boy, a car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Gawd, I so love my parents!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their minions tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. At least, for the time being.

Where does he get the energy?
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About Gandalfe

Just an itinerant saxophonist trying to find life between the changes. I have retired from the Corps of Engineers and Microsoft. I am an admin on the Woodwind Forum, run the Microsoft Jumpin' Jive Orchestra, and enjoy time with family and friends.
This entry was posted in Facebook, Humor, Pets, YouTube and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Cat vs. Dog … again

  1. Love it! (I like both cats and dogs…) This seems to sum it up beautifully! (Thank goodness we don’t have to be PC when it comes to our animals. It’s practically the only thing left.)

  2. Gandalfe says:

    PC, SmeeZee. ;O)

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention Cat vs. Dog … again | The Bis Key Chronicles -- Topsy.com

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