The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff

JeffFoxworthy I thought Jeff Foxworthy did Southern humor but he seemed to nail this one. This email is making the rounds and it would seem he has spent time in the Northwest.  :o)
1. You know the state flower (Mildew).
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement ‘sun break’ and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5 You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the ‘WALK’ signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it’s not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, and Tully’s.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by ‘Today’s forecast: showers followed by rain,’ and ‘Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showers.’
17 You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you  cannot see through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, ‘The mountain is out’ when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from ‘heat’ to ‘a/c’ in the same day.
28. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer &  Elk season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.

About Gandalfe

Just an itinerant saxophonist trying to find life between the changes. I have retired from the Corps of Engineers and Microsoft. I am an admin on the Woodwind Forum, run the Seattle Solid GOLD Big Band (formerly the Microsoft Jumpin' Jive Orchestra), and enjoy time with family and friends.
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4 Responses to The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff

  1. Beth says:

    I love his humor!  And…I have changed from heat to AC a few times.  LOL

  2. Barb says:

    I too enjoy his humor, and I am still not smarter than a fifth grader :)
    Life has been a little hectic sorry to be late visiting..Barb

  3. Rambling says:

    Numbers 1, 14 and 17 are East Tennessee also.  Number 27 as well now I look again.  These were fun.  I love regional humor.

  4. Lizzie-Beth4Him says:

    JF’s humor is something I have always enjoyed.  Living in B.C. and now Alberta, having visited Spokane, and often watching your news stations on cable or satelite, has given me an appreciation for your regional humor, and ability to pronounce #11.
    Here, the sandals, short sleeves and (with a certain folks) shorts, are on when the temperature hits 50.  No socks though.  😉  Maybe that is because of the prairies.  In B.C. add the socks too.

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