Undeniable Adult Truths

I would love to find and attribute this lovely piece.

HighSchoolPres1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection, again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies … quit laughing.

About these ads

About Gandalfe

Just an itinerant jazz saxophonist trying to find life between the changes. I have retired from the Corps of Engineers and Microsoft. I am an admin on the Woodwind Forum, run the Microsoft Jumpin' Jive Orchestra, and enjoy time with family and friends.
This entry was posted in Health and wellness, Humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Undeniable Adult Truths

  1. Pingback: 23 Adult Truths | Rafferty's Rules

  2. coastalmom says:

    I had to scroll back up and see if you just posted this a second ago! THIS is one of the greatest pieces I have read in a long time! There should be a thousand LIKES here!

  3. coastalmom says:

    Cut and pasted my below Facebook comment so that you could see it. I shared this on my page just now!
    Diane Reed
    ********************************************************************************************

    This one is soooo good I couldn’t not share it! Especially to all you writers out there… or to anyone over 40!
    Now the metaphoric thing for me to do would be… to forget to attach this little gem and have to come back and add the link but lol… I caught myself!!!

    http://biskey7.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/undeniable-adult-truths/#comment-4815

    Undeniable Adult Truths
    biskey7.wordpress.com
    I would love to find and attribute this lovely piece. 1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment ….
    Like · · Share · Promote · a few seconds ago ·

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s